"Bad Dates"

I've put "Bad Dates" in quotes because it reminds me of Raiders of the Lost Ark where Indy is about to eat a date but Sallah catches it, saying, "Bad dates." And there's my nerd moment for the night.

If you've read any of my previous posts, you may have noted that I'm a single gal. Sometimes I don't mind being a solitary soul. I can stretch out in bed and sleep (being 5 feet tall, that's really important), I can burp out loud (really loud sometimes), and I can take epic long showers without worrying about saving the water for someone else. The rest of the time, though, it does get a little lonely.

To that end, I've been sort of actively dating. Ugh. I even hate the word 'dating', but it's a necessary evil. Well, I HAD been actively dating. I haven't really been pursuing the whole 'date' thing, and well, to be honest, no one's knocking my door down, so it's been a while.

I swear, I don't mean these posts to sound so darn pitiful!!

So, you're probably thinking that if I get back on the proverbial dating horse and get myself out there, I'll have no problem getting dates. Sometimes, this is true. I do get asked out from time to time. To be honest, I've been a little soured on the whole thing due to some less-than-stellar dates in the past little while. I thought I'd tell you about a couple here not as a 'poor Sandi' kind of thing, but as a cautionary tale to those thinking of casting their line into the dating pond. Wow. I'm full of folksy metaphors tonight.

Let's examine the case of...wow. I actually can't remember his name. Let's just call him Pablo. He seemed like a nice enough guy, so I put myself in "What the hell, you never know what may happen" mode. We decided to meet at a Starbucks. The Bells Corners Starbucks, actually, scene of many a Sandi and Paul excursion. I got there first, which I hate, but what the heck. I ordered a tea, and sat and waited. I saw him walking towards the door, so I stood up. He walked towards me, smiling, and he said, "Sheri!" really loudly. I stopped dead in my tracks. "Um, no, Sandi." I replied, eliciting a big smile from the lady waiting in line for her drink. We were off to a great start! He apologized, and I went to sit down while he got his coffee. He got to the table, sat down, and just looked at me expectantly. "Um....so......how's your day been?" I asked. I guess the 'conversation' part of the date was up to me. He answered, and then he sat there, looking at me. "Um, so......" This went on for at least 15 minutes. I thought of every bloody question I could!

At one point, he leaned back in his chair, and as he did, his hand brushed his Extra Large coffee, and it spilled all over.....me, of course. The bottom quarter of my pants were soaked, as well as my shoes. My SHOES!! More apologizing. We cleaned things up, and he sat back down, looking at me. Good Lord, man! Talk about something!!! It was infuriating!

He excused himself to go to the bathroom, and while he was gone, I thought, "Thank God. We're finished our drinks, I can bow out of this with some dignity intact." He returned, clapped his hands together, and said, enthusiastically, "Well, where should we go next?" I was stunned. He thought this was going well! I made some excuse about having to get home, and I walk-ran to my car and got the heck out of Dodge.

Next, let's talk about Wii Man. No, he was not a 'little person' from that Jackass show, he was a grown man who talked my ear off about his Nintendo gaming system. He mentioned that he was a gamer before we met, but I've dated guys into video games before, and it was not all they were into, so I thought it was okay. We got to Starbucks (a different one this time) and got our beverages and sat down. He started the conversation, which seemed great at the time, but which I regretted soon after he started talking. He asked, "Have you ever played the Nintendo Wii?" I answered, "No, I haven't." Now, a normal person would probably take that as a cue to either talk about something else, or mention a few things about the Wii before finding some common ground to discuss. Not this fellow, my friends. He went on, and on, and on about the Wii and how awesome it was, as if he was employed by Nintendo and needed to recruit customers. The best line was, "My Mom can play this game, so you certainly should be able to." His Mom. He went there. After 45 minutes of Wii talk, I had to get out. He was pleasant and everything, but who on earth could stand all of that Wii talk??

Now, don't get me wrong, I have had some good dates in all of this, but the disasters seem to outweigh the gems at the moment. It really doesn't make a girl want to rush right out and do it again. So, the dating is waiting until I'm really wowed by someone, or until Gerard Butler calls. One or the other.

Anyone else have any dating disaster stories to share? I am glad I have bad date stories to share, but I think it would make me feel a little less pathetic if there was someone else out there who has suffered or is suffering through it too.

Sandi's Dating Adventures

As I mentioned in an earlier blog, I have resumed my foray into the hellish nightmare...I mean, wonderful adventure that is online dating. I think I have also mentioned that I have great reservations about the whole thing, but the friends keep telling me that it's the 'thing to do', so I am back on. I am actually on 2 sites; one free one, and one where you can pay to send messages, if you choose to. The paid site is pretty well-organized; it has a Dating section, one for Relationships, and one for Intimate Encounters. I would never in a million years post something in the Intimate section, but it is an entertaining read. This site has rules about the types of pictures you can post, and also approves or denies your profile after reviewing the content, which is nice. Essentially, you get some pretty PG profiles. On the free site, people can write what they like and can post whatever pictures they like. Want to post Jake Gyllenhaal's picture instead of your own? Anything goes! As a result, many guys post pictures of their abs or their chest or biceps. I don't know what the girls post...I am not sure I want to look.

So, I have gotten a few instant messages and 'smiles' and such on both sites. On both of my profiles, I listed an age preference, as I don't really see myself dating a 53-year-old. But, most of the contact has been with men well outside the age range. I don't know why I stress so much over what I write in the damn profiles, because no one seems to read them. I think that some men sit around, and wait for new people to sign up, or wait to see who's online, and then they unleash a barrage of smiles and messages without even checking to see what the person is like. That is creeptacular, people. I wonder if they ever do get anywhere.

One guy instant messaged me, and I replied because he had a cool soccer-related nickname. Nobody who likes soccer can be bad, right? It started to go south when he asked me for advice on what to do with a girl he had dated a couple of times. Um, you are asking random girls on a dating site for advice about other girls? That's classic. I turned off the Instant Message feature after that.

I got another Instant Message from the paid site. The guy looked nice enough, and I didn't get a 'serial killer' vibe from him, and his profile was coherent and sensible, so I messaged back. We ended up giving each other our MSN addresses and we started messaging there. Within 3 sentences, he asked if I had a problem dating guys from other races, since he was 'brown'. I told him I didn't have a "No Brown Guys" policy as such. Maybe 2 sentences later, he asked me what sorts of things I liked to do in bed. "Uh, I don't know, stranger? Read? Sleep? Make a blanket fort?" Now, relative to other people, I am a bit of a prude when it comes to talking about sex, but I ESPECIALLY don't want to talk about it to some strange guy I met online about 10 minutes beforehand. Call me crazy, but I don't advertise my bedroom likes and dislikes to everyone I meet. I explained this to him, that I really didn't feel like talking about that with him at this stage. Then, he asked me if I wanted to go out. Now, here's where I furrow my brow as well. Maybe every other girl besides me rushes right out the day that they make contact with guys for dates, but I just don't believe it. My usual routine is to chat for a bit, on Messenger and maybe with a couple of emails, then make a date. Sure, it might move slower than some people wish, but it leaves me well within my comfort zone. I know every single guy isn't some knife-wielding lunatic, but it really only takes one time to learn that lesson, doesn't it? So, again, I explained that, perhaps I am the exception, but I like to get to know someone before rushing out to meet them. He seemed understanding enough, but brought it up again. And again. I told him that I was sorry, but I wasn't interested in dating him right now. He is now deleted and blocked.

When I first signed up for this, I told myself to just go on dates. I know now that I won't be doing that again. Sure, I had some less-than-desirable dates and some good ones, but I don't see the point in going out with some guy that doesn't fit what I am looking for. There are times when, if asked what I looked for in a man, I would say "A heartbeat!", but for the most part, I have a certain set of things that I am looking for. Some of them may seem silly, but why should I settle? Why should I go out with someone that I have little in common with, just because he asks me? No, I am done with that attitude. I am not looking for anything specific, looks-wise, but I would like people to have some common interests and values, and they should be able to write a sentence without saying 'ur' instead of 'your' or adding 'lol' to everything they say.

Anyway, the search continues. I have been told that he is out there somewhere, so I am keeping the faith. If you would cross your fingers too, it would be greatly appreciated.