Sandi's Dating Adventures

As I mentioned in an earlier blog, I have resumed my foray into the hellish nightmare...I mean, wonderful adventure that is online dating. I think I have also mentioned that I have great reservations about the whole thing, but the friends keep telling me that it's the 'thing to do', so I am back on. I am actually on 2 sites; one free one, and one where you can pay to send messages, if you choose to. The paid site is pretty well-organized; it has a Dating section, one for Relationships, and one for Intimate Encounters. I would never in a million years post something in the Intimate section, but it is an entertaining read. This site has rules about the types of pictures you can post, and also approves or denies your profile after reviewing the content, which is nice. Essentially, you get some pretty PG profiles. On the free site, people can write what they like and can post whatever pictures they like. Want to post Jake Gyllenhaal's picture instead of your own? Anything goes! As a result, many guys post pictures of their abs or their chest or biceps. I don't know what the girls post...I am not sure I want to look.

So, I have gotten a few instant messages and 'smiles' and such on both sites. On both of my profiles, I listed an age preference, as I don't really see myself dating a 53-year-old. But, most of the contact has been with men well outside the age range. I don't know why I stress so much over what I write in the damn profiles, because no one seems to read them. I think that some men sit around, and wait for new people to sign up, or wait to see who's online, and then they unleash a barrage of smiles and messages without even checking to see what the person is like. That is creeptacular, people. I wonder if they ever do get anywhere.

One guy instant messaged me, and I replied because he had a cool soccer-related nickname. Nobody who likes soccer can be bad, right? It started to go south when he asked me for advice on what to do with a girl he had dated a couple of times. Um, you are asking random girls on a dating site for advice about other girls? That's classic. I turned off the Instant Message feature after that.

I got another Instant Message from the paid site. The guy looked nice enough, and I didn't get a 'serial killer' vibe from him, and his profile was coherent and sensible, so I messaged back. We ended up giving each other our MSN addresses and we started messaging there. Within 3 sentences, he asked if I had a problem dating guys from other races, since he was 'brown'. I told him I didn't have a "No Brown Guys" policy as such. Maybe 2 sentences later, he asked me what sorts of things I liked to do in bed. "Uh, I don't know, stranger? Read? Sleep? Make a blanket fort?" Now, relative to other people, I am a bit of a prude when it comes to talking about sex, but I ESPECIALLY don't want to talk about it to some strange guy I met online about 10 minutes beforehand. Call me crazy, but I don't advertise my bedroom likes and dislikes to everyone I meet. I explained this to him, that I really didn't feel like talking about that with him at this stage. Then, he asked me if I wanted to go out. Now, here's where I furrow my brow as well. Maybe every other girl besides me rushes right out the day that they make contact with guys for dates, but I just don't believe it. My usual routine is to chat for a bit, on Messenger and maybe with a couple of emails, then make a date. Sure, it might move slower than some people wish, but it leaves me well within my comfort zone. I know every single guy isn't some knife-wielding lunatic, but it really only takes one time to learn that lesson, doesn't it? So, again, I explained that, perhaps I am the exception, but I like to get to know someone before rushing out to meet them. He seemed understanding enough, but brought it up again. And again. I told him that I was sorry, but I wasn't interested in dating him right now. He is now deleted and blocked.

When I first signed up for this, I told myself to just go on dates. I know now that I won't be doing that again. Sure, I had some less-than-desirable dates and some good ones, but I don't see the point in going out with some guy that doesn't fit what I am looking for. There are times when, if asked what I looked for in a man, I would say "A heartbeat!", but for the most part, I have a certain set of things that I am looking for. Some of them may seem silly, but why should I settle? Why should I go out with someone that I have little in common with, just because he asks me? No, I am done with that attitude. I am not looking for anything specific, looks-wise, but I would like people to have some common interests and values, and they should be able to write a sentence without saying 'ur' instead of 'your' or adding 'lol' to everything they say.

Anyway, the search continues. I have been told that he is out there somewhere, so I am keeping the faith. If you would cross your fingers too, it would be greatly appreciated.