"Bad Dates"

I've put "Bad Dates" in quotes because it reminds me of Raiders of the Lost Ark where Indy is about to eat a date but Sallah catches it, saying, "Bad dates." And there's my nerd moment for the night.

If you've read any of my previous posts, you may have noted that I'm a single gal. Sometimes I don't mind being a solitary soul. I can stretch out in bed and sleep (being 5 feet tall, that's really important), I can burp out loud (really loud sometimes), and I can take epic long showers without worrying about saving the water for someone else. The rest of the time, though, it does get a little lonely.

To that end, I've been sort of actively dating. Ugh. I even hate the word 'dating', but it's a necessary evil. Well, I HAD been actively dating. I haven't really been pursuing the whole 'date' thing, and well, to be honest, no one's knocking my door down, so it's been a while.

I swear, I don't mean these posts to sound so darn pitiful!!

So, you're probably thinking that if I get back on the proverbial dating horse and get myself out there, I'll have no problem getting dates. Sometimes, this is true. I do get asked out from time to time. To be honest, I've been a little soured on the whole thing due to some less-than-stellar dates in the past little while. I thought I'd tell you about a couple here not as a 'poor Sandi' kind of thing, but as a cautionary tale to those thinking of casting their line into the dating pond. Wow. I'm full of folksy metaphors tonight.

Let's examine the case of...wow. I actually can't remember his name. Let's just call him Pablo. He seemed like a nice enough guy, so I put myself in "What the hell, you never know what may happen" mode. We decided to meet at a Starbucks. The Bells Corners Starbucks, actually, scene of many a Sandi and Paul excursion. I got there first, which I hate, but what the heck. I ordered a tea, and sat and waited. I saw him walking towards the door, so I stood up. He walked towards me, smiling, and he said, "Sheri!" really loudly. I stopped dead in my tracks. "Um, no, Sandi." I replied, eliciting a big smile from the lady waiting in line for her drink. We were off to a great start! He apologized, and I went to sit down while he got his coffee. He got to the table, sat down, and just looked at me expectantly. "Um....so......how's your day been?" I asked. I guess the 'conversation' part of the date was up to me. He answered, and then he sat there, looking at me. "Um, so......" This went on for at least 15 minutes. I thought of every bloody question I could!

At one point, he leaned back in his chair, and as he did, his hand brushed his Extra Large coffee, and it spilled all over.....me, of course. The bottom quarter of my pants were soaked, as well as my shoes. My SHOES!! More apologizing. We cleaned things up, and he sat back down, looking at me. Good Lord, man! Talk about something!!! It was infuriating!

He excused himself to go to the bathroom, and while he was gone, I thought, "Thank God. We're finished our drinks, I can bow out of this with some dignity intact." He returned, clapped his hands together, and said, enthusiastically, "Well, where should we go next?" I was stunned. He thought this was going well! I made some excuse about having to get home, and I walk-ran to my car and got the heck out of Dodge.

Next, let's talk about Wii Man. No, he was not a 'little person' from that Jackass show, he was a grown man who talked my ear off about his Nintendo gaming system. He mentioned that he was a gamer before we met, but I've dated guys into video games before, and it was not all they were into, so I thought it was okay. We got to Starbucks (a different one this time) and got our beverages and sat down. He started the conversation, which seemed great at the time, but which I regretted soon after he started talking. He asked, "Have you ever played the Nintendo Wii?" I answered, "No, I haven't." Now, a normal person would probably take that as a cue to either talk about something else, or mention a few things about the Wii before finding some common ground to discuss. Not this fellow, my friends. He went on, and on, and on about the Wii and how awesome it was, as if he was employed by Nintendo and needed to recruit customers. The best line was, "My Mom can play this game, so you certainly should be able to." His Mom. He went there. After 45 minutes of Wii talk, I had to get out. He was pleasant and everything, but who on earth could stand all of that Wii talk??

Now, don't get me wrong, I have had some good dates in all of this, but the disasters seem to outweigh the gems at the moment. It really doesn't make a girl want to rush right out and do it again. So, the dating is waiting until I'm really wowed by someone, or until Gerard Butler calls. One or the other.

Anyone else have any dating disaster stories to share? I am glad I have bad date stories to share, but I think it would make me feel a little less pathetic if there was someone else out there who has suffered or is suffering through it too.